Previously unpublished incidents from the True Crime on Campus files 

Although it is hard to believe, it is now 15 years since the first ever publication of True Crime on Campus. For those who are new to the experience this series is a collection of the bizarre, unfortunate, inexplicable and just plain weird extracts from genuine university campus security reports which I’ve collected over the years. 

All of these incidents took place at my former employer, the University of Nottingham, where I had the privilege to serve as Registrar for 18 years. During this time I could not have been more impressed with the University’s excellent and extremely hard-working security team which has to deal every day with difficult and challenging situations which really aren’t remotely amusing for anyone involved. It’s vital work, often unrecognised, and key to effective functioning and good campus life on every university campus around the country. HE security staff really do deserve the thanks and praise of everyone across the sector.

You can see the full back catalogue of published reports over on Wonkhe. And it is I think still possible to get hold of this book of reports published in 2017.

Anyway, without further ado, here is a collection of (I think) previously unpublished campus security reports.

1350 Patrol Security Officers stopped a lorry carrying ready mixed concrete on Keighton Hill, cement was coming out of the back of the lorry onto the road way. Estates Staff were informed Security remained until all of the cement was cleared from the road. The lorry was delivering to the new Teaching building.

 1210 Report of a student walking into a transparent partition in the Jubilee Atrium Canteen. Security attended and applied a cold compress, the student reported feeling fine otherwise with no injuries.

1410 Security received a report that there was a damp patch on the carpet in the A7 staff room in the George Green Library, and this had been there for two days and they could not find where this was coming from. They were told to call Security if it got any worse.

1315 Security were requested to force open a filing cabinet in Sutton Bonington as Staff had locked the keys inside the cabinet. Security attended and opened the cabinet.

0105 Report of noise in Hall quad, Security attended and spoke to a group of Conference Delegates who were singing. They were asked to consider other residents. 

2055 Report that a member of staff had driven their vehicle over a kerb and got the vehicle stuck adjacent to Life Science. Security attended but were unable to free the vehicle. The member of staff is looking for other options to free the vehicle.

1645 Report of people swimming in Jubilee Campus lake, Security attended and spoke to two males who were with a number of children. The males were advised of the dangers of swimming in open water. They agreed to come out of the water get dressed and take their children home.

0825 Report of a male acting suspiciously adjacent to Portland Building, Security attended, the male was spoken to by Officers. The male stated that he was taking photographs of wildlife.

2121 Report that a vehicle had attempted to run over a Conference Delegate while in Main Visitors car park. Security are to follow up.

0610 Report of a person asleep in Maths Building, Security attended and spoke to the person. They confirmed that they are a member of Staff and had fallen sleep. They were advised to go home.

1140 Report of a goose with a broken leg near the Trent Building. RSPCA notified.

 2210 Report of Students running around Si Yuan Building throwing balls of paper at each other. Security attended and spoke to the Students who were given advice.

1100 Report of a Student with a burn to their forehead in Hall, Security attended and spoke to the Student. The Student stated that they had been trying to light a Cigarette and set fire to their hair which burnt their forehead. The Student was taken to Cripps Health Centre for treatment.

0700 Security were asked by a member of staff for assistance as a plastic container had become wedged under their vehicle. Officers attended and removed the container which had gone under the vehicle while it was being driven on the A52. The vehicle was parked adjacent to Trent Building.

2120 Report that a Cannabis plant had been found, Security attended and collected the plant which on examination is not a Cannabis plant.

 1523 Report of the theft of equipment belonging to the Bee Keeper. Security attended Police informed.

01:33 Security were called to Hall as three female Students were acting suspiciously. On arrival three females were taking kettles from around the hall and placing them around the corridors. Warden informed. 

04:21 Security attended a fire alarm activation at Hall. This was a false alarm due to burnt popcorn.

1545 Report of a Student with a suspected broken finger in Trent Building, Security attended the Student stated that they had been playing with Nerf guns when they tripped over furniture breaking their finger. Security took the Student to Hospital, Safety Office is to be informed.

1140 Report of a person selling Pillows out of the back of a van adjacent to Florence Boot Hall. Security attended the area was checked the vehicle could not be located.

2120 Report of Sheep on Station Road, Security contacted the Farm Manager who sent one man and his dog to round up the Sheep.

1835 Report of a Fire in the woodland adjacent to Gatehouse Lodge. Security attended and found that a group of Scouts were learning to cook in the wild.

We might have some more of these from the files in due course. Thank you once again to the University of Nottingham Security Team for all of their exceptional efforts.