Lots of universities have shields.  We’re not talking logos here which cause so much distress when universities decide to make very minor modifications to them on the back of a large financial consideration for some edgily-monikered branding company. Nor are we talking about full on crests which tend to have lots of feathers and flowers and helmets all round them, Shields are, well, shields with some distinctive heraldic devices on them which represent the essence of the institution in a visual language only medieval nobles and courtiers would care about. Shields tend to appear at the centre of crests and are pretty straightforward and direct in their pictorial representations of the features most closely associated with a university, its locale and history. 

Selecting the competitors

Our starting point is, perhaps surprisingly, the 2026 Times Good University Guide ranking. 16 of the top 30 universities in the league table have shields which feature animals, birds or fish. 14 have no beasts involved, preferring to stick to castles, books, swords, crosses, crowns, flowers and the like. Focusing then on the 16 lively shields the most obvious thing to do seemed to be to imagine a knockout tournament.

So, here it is then, the great big university shield animal battle. The seeding has been undertaken in a traditional manner based on Times league table placing – we start with the round of 16 then quarter finals, then semis and then the final to see which university has the most fearsome beasts on its shield.

Of those institutions outside the top 30, quite a number have some pretty interesting creatures on their shields, some of which might have stood a chance in the knockout should they have been part of the top tier. There are also some rather weaker animals too.

Among the tougher ones in the lower reaches of the table who did not qualify, we have:

• Swansea, which has a dragon and would have fancied its chances
• Bournemouth,with three talbot dogs, medieval hunting dogs, now extinct, would have put up a good show
• Coventry and  its phoenix would make a tricky opponent 
• Aberystwyth’s two dragons combatant would have been hard to beat
• Harper Adams and its three “Cats-a-Mountain” would have got its claws into any opposition
• Bangor, with four lions passant and a lion rampant would have been in with a shout
• The Goldsmiths leopard might have been feisty
• Marjon’s winged lion would have had some distinct advantages but the lamb would not have added much to the team

The weaker candidates hanging around outside the top 30 include these no-hopers:

• Lancashire and its lamb 
• Sussex with its dolphin
• Greater Manchester, which has three moorcocks
• The Birkbeck owl
• Hull’s dove, which really has no chance against anything
• Kent has three Cornish choughs, bolstered a little by a horse rampant
• Reading, bizarrely, can only summon three scallops, notoriously useless in a rumble.

Here is the draw then:

Who will be the winner?

First battles – it’s the Round of 16

Let’s get going!

LSE v Manchester:

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First up we have the number one seeds, the LSE, up against the northern powerhouse that is the University of Manchester. The LSE, quite distinctively, has a beaver as its principal shield creature whereas Manchester only has three bees. It really is no contest. Whilst our beaver does not normally welcome a battle with bees, it is going to see them off every time and race through to the quarter finals. Manchester should have stuck with its previous shield, pre-merger, which included a large serpent. It may have stood more of a chance. 

 Lancaster v Birmingham:

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Next we have Lancaster University with its single lion up against the University of Birmingham which also has a lion, but rampant rather than passant, and with two heads rather than one, which gives it a distinct advantage. As if that weren’t enough Birmingham’s shield also features a mermaid holding a mirror and a comb who doesn’t need to intervene as the two-headed beast makes short work of its single-headed opponent. Birmingham wins.

Cambridge v Queen’s Belfast:

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Our next battle sees the ancient University of Cambridge taking on Northern Ireland’s representative in the 16, Queen’s University Belfast. The shield of Queen’s includes a seahorse, the long-standing symbol of the city with its maritime heritage. Unfortunately though it does not last very long at all against Cambridge’s four lions.

Imperial v King’s:

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Imperial’s shield incorporates the British royal coat of arms which means that it features no fewer than seven lions, one of them Scottish and extremely rampant. King’s has two lions rampant but they are no match for Imperial’s team.

St Andrews v Aberdeen:

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Into the other half of the round of 16 draw then and we have two ancient Scottish institutions battling it out. The University of St Andrews has a single lion rampant but it is not strong enough to overcome the three boars of Aberdeen. Not sure the three salmon from Aberdeen added much to the fight though.

Bristol v Southampton:

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A strange battle this one. Bristol presents well with its horse and rather cheeky dolphin but ultimately Southampton’s hart, with its impressive set of antlers, wins the day.

Durham v Glasgow:

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Durham is another university fortunate to have lions on its side. With three lions rampant it really is giving the ancient University of Glasgow little chance with its single salmon and its bird, a very small and completely ineffectual robin.

Warwick v Liverpool:

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The final battle in the round of 16 sees Liverpool’s three cormorants, the famous Liver birds of the city, battle it out with Warwick’s bear and elephant. It really is no contest as the flappy birds are rapidly squished by Warwick’s impressive fighting duo.

Quarter Final Time

Next, the quarter finals

LSE v Birmingham:

LSE’s toothy mammal sadly failed to shine against the twin attacks of Birmingham’s double-headed lion and the comb-wielding mermaid. Sorry Mr Beaver but Birmingham are going through to the semi-finals.

Cambridge v Imperial:

The other quarter final on this side of the draw sees our ancient champion Cambridge taking on one of its London-based rivals, Imperial. This one is a battle between two teams of lions but Cambridge’s quartet is simply overwhelmed by Imperial’s seven strong crew. 

Aberdeen v Southampton:

It’s a lion-free battle this one between the three Aberdonian boars (and their ever supportive trio of salmon) and the big antlered hart from Southampton. The boars though are fearsome opponents and have no need to seek support from the salmon as they surround and ultimately triumph over the hart despite sustaining some nasty injuries on the way.

Durham v Warwick:

Our last quarter final sees more lion action as Durham’s trio of lions take on Warwick’s elephant and bear combo. Whilst the bear and its ragged staff enjoys limited success agains the lions, the elephant manages to see them off without too much difficulty. It would take a few more than three lions to beat this giant opponent. Warwick is through to the semis. 

Semi-Final Set Up

Semi-Final One – Birmingham v Imperial:

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Our first semi-final then sees two universities which have cruised through the earlier rounds face off for a place in the final and a chance to win the first ever university shield animal battle trophy. But let’s face it, there really is not going to be much of a contest here. Imperial’s leonine septet it going to give short shrift to Birmingham’s solo lion, even if it does have two heads. And the comb- and mirror-wielding mermaid is not going to extend the contest for long. It’s another triumph for Imperial which sees the university secure the first berth in the final.

Semi-Final Two – Warwick v Aberdeen:

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Meanwhile in the other half of the draw its a battle between two lion-less opponents. Aberdeen with its battling boars and slippery salmon versus Warwick’s bear and giant tusker. The boars are tough though and the salmon are, well, salmony, but the harsh reality is that the bear is going to eat the fish rather rapidly for breakfast before setting about the boars. And whilst he extra numbers come in handy for the aggressive battling swine, they really can’t match the trampling might of Warwick’s elephant. It’s all over in just a few minutes of stomping and trunk-based action.

It’s the Final!

Time for the final. It’s all down to the last two. This is where we have come from:

It’s Warwick v Imperial for the ultimate prize

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So, we are down to the last two then. Who is going to take home the inaugural university shield animal battle trophy? Will it be the well-organized Imperial lions who have routed all opposition on their way to the final or will Warwick’s bizarre bear and elephant duo come out on top?

Well, as you would expect in a final, where two universities have had to really battle their way through all opposition, this is going to be a heck of a fight. It really is one for the connoisseur but ultimately it is going to go only one way. Seven lions might stand a chance against an aging or injured elephant but this one is fighting fit and has the extra support of a bear with a big stick. After much circling, snarling, scratching and biting, the sheer scale and persistence of Warwick’s elephant and bear combo is just too much for Imperial’s lions. Warwick triumphs and it is the big grey trunk of the all-conquering elephant which lifts the university shield animal battle trophy for the very first time!

Well, it was a thrilling set of contests I am sure you will agree. Roll on the the next competition…

Readers should note that no animals were harmed in the making of this blog.