Once again it is that time of year (or a wee bit after it if we are honest) when the great and the good tell you about all the marvellous books they are planning to read poolside at their luxury villa on a Greek island as they get away from it all for their possibly well-earned summer break. Many of them have also helpfully recommended the best books which just happen to be written by their colleagues, relatives and friends. 

And nothing screams “it’s summer” more than being by a body of water with a big pile of books next to the lounger. Whilst it used to be that it was only your Wilbur Smiths, Arthur Haileys and generic bonkbusters which qualified as summer/beach reading, now anything goes.

Admittedly, thanks to some poor scheduling decisions by our editors, many may have already had their holidays and be thinking about the nights drawing in but whether you have been away yet or not there is always plenty of reading to catch up on.

As the old saying goes, there can never be too many higher education rankings. It is also hard to imagine the possibility of there being too many lists of the best books ever. Therefore, by something resembling popular demand, we thought we would follow the trend yet again by providing a couple of exciting new top 10s of books you will really want to take on your summer holiday, be it beach-based or one of those holidays where you climb steep hills and carry a big rucksack. Or, just wait until you have got time to read them.

Our first top 10 is as selected by our panel of experts, a high powered mix of literature professors, retired vice-chancellors, jaded comms directors, hard-bitten HE journalists and a couple of over-enthusiastic students. We have another top 10, which is surprisingly different, as voted for by a selection of individuals who managed to locate our remarkably under-promoted online survey (and a couple of people we met in the students’ union Costa).

The Experts’ Top 10

Top of the Quads – A comprehensive survey of some of the best and most photographed university quadrangles from institutions across the world.

For Whom the Bell Tolls – an inexplicable series of fatal incidents occurs in and around university clock towers. Hard-bitten cop DS Chamberlain is charged with finding the perpetrator. An outstanding thriller from everyone’s favourite academic crime writer, Sally Peal.

The End of the Affair – A classic tale of a staff-student relationship which is over before it even begins in a college with a rigorous policy on this sort of thing. A real tale for our times.

The Book Thief – An exciting and popular thriller in which a criminally obsessed economics researcher seeks to steal books written by his rivals from university libraries across the land in the face of stiff resistance from campus security teams.

The Talented Dr Ripley – In the first of this hugely popular series, Business Studies lecturer Ripley becomes fixated on a young entrepreneur and his remarkably successful spin out company.

Foundation Year – the recently re-discovered Isaac Asimov science fiction classic in which a group of students in a remote part of the galaxy embark on their initial level 0 studies with ambition to progress academically and change the galactic empire.

In Search of Lost Timetables – a mazy magical realist tale in which nothing is as it seems and no room is available in the slot expected creating impossible dilemmas for staff and students alike. An acclaimed modern classic.

A Very, Very, Very Peculiar Practice – The HE sector’s most dysfunctional medical practice returns with a brand new set of off-beam medics in charge at an exciting new start-up university. Expect many more entertaining health-related issues across a very scattered campus.

The Horse Whisperer – Autobiographical account of one quietly spoken equine specialist academic’s struggle for their voice to be heard.

The Secret History Department – the hugely popular modern morality tale in which, under the influence of their charismatic professor, a group of intelligent, eccentric misfits at an elite New England college spend their time looking for a mysterious hidden academic department. But as their search becomes more obsessive the betrayals begin and darkness descends.

Yes indeed, plenty to enjoy from that list. Those so-called experts really know their stuff.

The Readers’ Poll

Somehow, several hundred readers managed to find our poorly promoted online poll and offered a rather different set of suggestions to those of the experts. What do they know?

Professor Corelli’s Mandolin – One creative academic’s musical meanderings around the Ionian islands.

The Fault in Your Stars – A ragtag group of exasperated astrophysicists struggles to persuade a credulous public of the pointlessness of horoscopes.

The Friday Timetable Club –  ***The Instant Sunday Times Best Seller *** very much in the Richard Osman vein, this light and not at all bureaucratic tome has been credited with starting the whole ‘cosy campus crime’ genre (see also Murder at Matriculation) and features a group of very stressed timetabling administrators trying to fit too many students into too few classrooms without anyone having to teach on a Friday (or a Monday, ideally).

Fear of Flying – Just appointed as Pro-Vice-Chancellor for International Partnerships, Professor Jones has to work out how to visit all of the university’s collaborating institutions around the world using only land and sea-based transport. A thrilling travelogue.

Notes from the Underground – A sumptuous and glossy coffee table book packed with never-before-seen pictures of subterranean university service corridors and tunnels. With full expert commentary from top estates directors.

Wild Swans – A comprehensive study of the best birds on university campuses. With a bonus chapter on Long Boi, everyone’s favourite legendary tall Indian Runner/Mallard duck.

At the High Table For More Yet Again – Rather surprisingly this is the fifth volume featuring some of Nigella’s recipes for entertaining in College. Guaranteed to spice up the residential experience.

I Spy Universities – the holiday staple is perhaps an unsurprising addition to the readers’ list.

A Very, Very, Very, Very Peculiar Practice – The HE sector’s most dysfunctional medical practice returns with a brand new set of off-beam medics in charge at an exciting new start-up university. Expect many more entertaining health-related issues across a very scattered campus, including online.

My Brilliant Friend – trials and tribulations on A Level results day when things do not go quite as planned for two long-standing chums. Both were confident about their achievements and both had accepted offers from the same midlands university. For Janice though things do not go quite to plan and through some strange quirk of the Clearing system she ends up heading off to university in Naples.

Well, you might be tempted by some of those but as Sir John Curtice probably never said, you can’t always believe the polls.

Editors’ Choice

Given that you can never rely on either popular votes or the views of the great and the good to make the right decision on this sort of thing, we also thought it made sense to include just a few of those great titles which by some failure of judgment did not manage to make either list. So here are the top books which should have been in the top 10 but somehow are not. You might want to prioritize a few of these these in your carry-on baggage this summer:

Life of Pies – An entertaining insight into mass catering at university sporting events (sponsored by BUCS and with a foreword by Delia Smith).

Yet More Places for Maces – Surprisingly there are still some examples of never before seen university regalia – this follow up to the earlier best-selling publication is very much along the same lines and offers various examples of all kinds of bling from across the global HE community.

The Lovely Bones – A collection of essays by academic medics and celebrities displaying their osteological passions.

Keep Looking on the Even Brighter Side! A second follow up to the poorly selling 2024 book claiming to offer an antidote to more gloomy analyses of sector woes. A range of pieces by absurdly upbeat authors who are staggeringly untroubled by the challenges currently facing universities. Free blinkers with every edition.

Norwegian Wood – A searing expose of one university’s doomed attempt to offset its carbon usage by claiming to have planted a large forest somewhere East of Lillehammer.

A Rough Guide to University Mergers – Despite extensive revisions and additional case studies this book still retains the feel of being a hastily cobbled together manual drawing on everything published recently by people who reckon they know what they are talking about. Fourth edition.

And Then There Were None – All too vivid dystopian thriller about the disappearance of modern languages departments across the country.

The Age of Innocence – A collection of essays from academic scholars reminiscing fondly of the time before the arrival of ChatGPT.

Tinker Tailor Soldier AI – The hottest new graduate entry jobs. Plus some old ones.

Billon Dollar Brain – Money and Moore’s Law:  a case study in the cost and growth in processing power in the world of high performance computing.

The OIA Catalogue of Complaints – Expanded, fully revised and updated with all the best complaints from the Office of the Independent Adjudicator. Whether justified or not, this bumper book has the lot. Who can forget the classic case “Illegible feedback – CS05394C Partly Justified”, the remarkable “Dodgy pie experience – CS11372F Not Justified” and, of course, “Crap accommodation – CS012407 Partly Justified” All your old favourites and more are in here.

Our Imaginary Universities – A glossy and hefty coffee table collection of transcripts of all the best bits from the mildly popular podcast My Imaginary University. With a sumptuous range of dubious AI-generated pictures.

Franchising for Fun and Profit – a comprehensive guide to getting the most out of sub-contracting degree courses for pleasure and profit (Disclaimer: this book is absolutely not endorsed by either the OfS or the QAA. Following the advice it contains is at your own risk and may lead to early investigation by regulators and/or The Sunday Times).

A Passage to India (8th edition, in three volumes) –  a newly updated guide to navigating the latest legislation in India for anyone trying to set up a branch campus there. “Detailed and very, very long” said one grateful vice-chancellor.

Dons on the Catwalk – a review of all the best in contemporary academic gowns and hoods produced by the Burgon Society and featuring many of the UK’s most popular professors gowned up in the latest 19th century fashions.

Bridget Jones’s Dairy – Everyone’s favourite professor of bovine studies returns with a powerful account of a year of researching a university dairy herd.

Anyway, there are plenty of ideas here for your summer vacation reading. Do enjoy, wherever you take your beach bag.