As everyone knows, this time higher education is going to be completely overwhelmed, swept away or destroyed by a new technological revolution. Yes, just like every previous technological change, from the printing press to MOOCs, universities and colleges are going to be completely stuffed by AI. Or maybe not. It is fri to say that everyone is grappling with every aspect of AI’s impact on the sector and the implications will be far-reaching. But will it wipe HE out? I don’t think so. While it will touch many aspects of learning, teaching and assessment, management and administration and research too, there are some parts of the great higher education world which will remain unaffected.

So, here is your top 10 of higher ed features which will not be impacted (much) by AI

10 Avian Pests

Look, the geese are here to stay. 

9 Institutional Coffee 

The coffee that is delivered in flasks to institutional meetings and has been for many decades has been produced to a long-standing recipe known only to a few and yet is uniform in tis quality across the sector. Almost but not quite wholly undrinkable there is nothing about this distinctive brew that any AI service is going to change.

8 Inter-Institutional Sports Competitions

These activities have been going on for a long, long time and many, many students are going to continue to want to play sport of all kinds. So, whether it is under the auspices of BUCS or a local varsity competition, these events aren’t going to disappear even if lots of students decide they prefer e-sports.

7 Gowns, Hoods and Funny Hats

Yes, they only come out for graduation but this kind of thing has been going on for centuries and will undoubtedly continue regardless of any current or indeed future technological advances.

6 The Residential Campus Experience

More and more students may choose in future to live at home rather than move away to study but there is always going to be a residential campus experience on offer for some. And there really is not a lot that Gemini is going to be able to do to augment or replace those unique shared halls living activities.

5 Student Protests

Students are often quite creative with their protests and undoubtedly some campaigning approaches will continue to have some AI input. But there is also a strong traditional element to protest too. The old-school demo or the die-in or the very traditional  occupation of the VC’s office can’t easily be replaced by AI. And there is a risk that if it is all online no-one will notice.

4 Clock Towers

We have covered the sector’s greatest clock towers before. It is possible some of the mechanisms may eventually end up being replaced by digital alternatives and the bongs delivered by speakers instead of bells but no-one wants that to happen Co-Pilot so just leave well alone.

3 Car Parking Complaints

Even when everyone has a self-driving, AI-steered car there will still be arguments about car parking charges and why there aren’t any spaces near the Chemistry department after 8.30. 

2 Debates at Senate/Academic Board

They really matter, obviously, and will continue to do so for a very, very long time, regardless of what Chat GPT says. As long as there are at least two staff left in the institution then they can disagree civilly (or perhaps not) at Senate. No matter what the issue.

1 The Giant Poster Sale

The staple of every freshers’ fair since time immemorial, the giant poster sale is something which surely AI cannot impact. There is no technologically more advanced way of getting that A1 sized Pulp Fiction or Che picture on your wall than buying it in hard copy form in the SU, having it professionally rolled up and then taking it back to blu-tack it above your bed. Nothing will ever change this surely?

I’ll brook no arguments with the placings here but are there other ones I’ve missed?